A Day at the Ballpark

Clearly,

It's been A LONG DARN TIME since I last posted a blog. And to be honest, I didn't really post a "true" blog in the sense that my last entry was just a bunch of pictures of me and my roommates playing in the snow. Either way, there was still a story to be told about that day-- and pictures just happened to be the best way to tell it.

Today is a new day though. Yesterday, my friends Justin, Mary, Tara and I all went to Philly to see the Phillies take on the Brewers at Citizens Bank Park. It was a GREAT game-- lots of excitement even though it was rather short compared to the last baseball game I went to (Rangers vs. Yankees in 101 degree heat!!! In July!!!). In any case, there was an interesting incident that happened while we were there... and rather than tell you MY point of view, I thought I'd "borrow" Justin's point of view-- because, really he saw more of "him" than I did... and it's still rather funny to hear a guy tell it.

So, thanks Justin for writing today's version of my story... :)
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"I Saw a Penis Today" by Justin Cleveland

The top of the sixth inning had just come to a close, the Brewers stranding two runners in beautiful Citizens Bank Park, home of the Philadelphia Phillies. Though the skies were overcast, it was a temperate, beautiful day for baseball. And better yet, the crew led 2-1 after two home runs by the right fielder.

And then it happened. I saw a man drop down out of the left-field bleachers, and I had to shake my head. I thought, for a moment, that he was just a fan who had run on to the field. And then I realized he wasn't wearing a shirt.

And then I realized he wasn't wearing pants.

That's right, ladies and gentlemen, today I saw a naked man. He wasn't a particularly attractive man, instead he was a little pudgy. And his member wasn't anything to write home about, let alone expose to a crowd of some thirty-thousand spectators. Words immediately eluded me. I tapped my compatriot, Tara, on the shoulder and merely pointed. How does one say to a friend, "there's a naked man running on the field"? I mean, now, it seems easy to come up with the words. But when lost in the moment, I could merely point, jaw agape, and giggle.

He began his leisurely jaunt from left field into the park proper, nearly arriving at third base before tripping and falling to the ground, being covered (thankfully) by security. He was escorted out, a coat over his privates. There was no sense of purpose to the run; instead the man seemed almost certain that he would be tackled long before he reached the vicinity of a player. As I was sitting 17 rows back on the third-base side, I got a show of the entire proceedings.

By the way, the Brewers won. Hell of a game, too. Came down to the last pitch. And yet on the nigh four-hour drive home, all the three of us could talk about was the naked man. It probably won't be on Sportscenter, nor will they even discuss it on talk radio, but I thought you should know. And, to be honest, I felt kind of bad when I thought about it and realized that there were a ton of kids at the park that day. I found it funny, but the youngin's shouldn't be subjected to that. Especially because he was so monumentally unimpressive.