Will I ever have a normal farewell?

It has been almost six years since I made the initial trek from Lubbock, TX to State College, PA… six years since I embarked on this endeavor known as grad school. However, in all the things that I’ve managed to learn about communication, statistics (still learning!), life in Pennsylvania, life in the Northeast, myself, friends, and family… there is still one thing I haven’t learned to do.

I haven’t learned how to stop missing Texas as much as I do.

I feel as if I’ve blogged about this hundreds of times… you know, the sadness and depression I feel when I have to come back to PA. Each time, I promise myself that the day I leave will be different and yet it never is. I tear, I cry, I mope… and then about a week later, I’m back to normal.

I guess there should be some comfort in the fact that each time I’ve managed to leave, I always have someone (and often many someones) who was ready to welcome me back with open arms. Whether it was my roommate and her boyfriend (it’s very often the two of them), my friends Bonny and/or Julie, or even Kelly, Alysa, and Tara back in PA… these are the people who get me through the “patch” and try to help me see the bigger picture.

I guess my question is, why do I keep getting out of focus then? How is it that I still can’t manage to leave my family, Caesar, and friends behind with a brave face? Is it really that bad to be leaving?

(sigh)

I wouldn’t think so, but apparently there is something here in me that refuses to believe that life away from these people could ever be as good as it is when I am surrounded by them. I mean, I know it’s not necessarily my love for The Great State that brings a tear to my eye… it’s the fact that I feel like when I am with my family, I am at peace. Nothing that has previously stood in my way or caused me grief really matters because I am surrounded by them. Simply put, they are my touchstone. They remind me to keep the faith, trust in God our Father, and remember that I can do ALL things through Him. I don’t feel as if I completely lose touch with that when I’m not with them… but it’s so much easier to believe when you are surrounded by people who believe as well.

I have to say that in my time away, I have truly learned to appreciate the family and friends I have. Time is precious and it cannot be wasted on those who wish to harm or defeat us or who are envious of the peace and blessings we know. I am proud to stand with those who believe in me and I know that will always have a family in Texas who loves me and only want good things for me… and those friends (my other family) in Pennsylvania, Alabama, Nevada, Maryland, Virginia, New York and of course Texas (can’t forget those guys!) who share the same sentiments as well.

And for that, I say… THANK YOU and GOD BLESS EACH AND EVERY ONE OF YOU where ever you may be.